My Wicked Ways

So dear reader it appears my wicked ways have finally caught up with me - I spent the better part of yesterday morning in the hospital. What for you ask, well it seems I may have developed an ulcer. Honestly, I was scared as my mother died of Liver cancer when I was 4 and was about my age when she died. For the last 6 months or so everytime I would get a pain in my stomach I would just deal with it, as part of me was too scared to find out what was wrong. Anyway, the doctor comes in and says, "you're done" I ask what do you mean and he says again, "you're done, you can never drink again" (I think I need a 2nd opinion), but the doctors says I can do the occasional drink and he goes I do mean occasional, so basically when they do a toast at a wedding and everyone takes a sip of champagne, well that will be me.
Now here is the funny part - I am registering at the hospital and they ask for an emergency contact and I realized I dont really have one; my dad is in Florida my sister is in Paris so that basically leaves my ex-wife, how's that for irony or is that poetic justice?

Personally: work is going very well and I honestly couldnt be happier with the company and the people i work with; interesting when you have no drama how enjoyable everything around you is. On the dating front my trophy girl and i split up that same week I did the xmas post;

So I jumped back on Match.com and in less than a week i met a great girl named Terri age 35 an executive (that's her pic above)- interesting girl she had a 10 date rule (yes that means what you think it does). Another dating experience that lasted only a month, I have been single now for almost the last 2 months; Taking a break for a while - I need a rest. Well that's not entirely accurate, just taking a break from having a girlfriend but not from having company :)

Enclosed is Chapter 2 of the book as well:
Chapter 2: Here we go – Nobody defines you but you

I choose to sign up for Match.com because my friend Michael was on Match and constantly raved about how many beautiful women on the site and the many that he had shagged. After reviewing the site myself I had noticed that there were many more attractive women then there were decent looking guys – so I reasoned that finding an attractive woman was going to be easy. My friend Mike is 44, in good shape, good career etc., but swears he will never get married again. Mike constantly meets these great women on Match.com, they then fall for him, but he then dumps them because they get too close. This happens time and time again and he wonders why they don’t understand that he doesn’t want to get serious, hmm perhaps if he told the women upfront - look this is going to be sex and good times for about two to four months but then I am going to kick your ass to the curb then I think they might understand. But women don’t want the truth, they can’t handle the truth.

With this in mind and not really sure what I was looking for – My friend Joanne and I uploaded my pictures, made my profile and I began my search.

Guys – this is another reality check when you upload pictures and write your profile, you should then have a female friend look it over – ask for honest feedback. If you let your buddies do it then that picture of you funneling beers will end up on your profile- while this seems like a good idea at the time because you’re being honest – WOMEN DO NOT WANT HONESTY – women think they do but they don’t at least not in the beginning and actually they never really want you to be truly honest and open up about your feelings. Why, because then they realize you aren’t as strong and or as confidant 24x7 – yes ladies we need our down time and when we share that doesn’t make us weak it just means we need to share. But, on some weird level women view sharing as weakness, deep down women always want their man to be strong and in charge.

Let’s discuss the profile as this can be a tricky situation as well. What information can you put into a 500 word description that brings across sincerity, honesty and looking for relationship while in the back of your mind you’re really thinking man I hope I get laid from doing this and if I meet a nice girl and we have a relationship well then that is just a bonus. Guys you want to make the profile long enough so it looks like you have somewhat of a life and that you had put some thought into the whole description of a perfect mate. But god forbid if you make your description too long you will look needy and full of issues – meaning if you can’t describe what you’re looking for in a women 2-3 paragraphs then you have issues. No really you do, think about it we all know what we want – some like blonds, some like brunettes some like skinny others like curvy – remember you need to specialize unless you’re looking to spread a wide net and see what you catch. Me on the other hand I prefer blonds (really you don’t say) I like athletic/skinny blonds that have their act together and are somewhat normal. Now ladies as I mentioned in my profile all guys say they want women that are normal. But the reality is that we all know that there is some guy out there that did a number on you, or you still pine away for someone or you have some guy lurking the stable just waiting to be called up to bat. We as guys know this and will do everything in our power to make you forget about him or if we can, we want to end up in the stable as well. We think of that a sense of accomplishment – sort of like well it didn’t work out but let the next guy deal with it as I am in the stable for whenever she needs a booty call.

I now felt like a kid in a candy store – I mean look at all these women, all looking for someone, this was going to fun and easy. I get to meet great women in a short period of time, go on lots of dates, get laid, have a relationship and get on with my life – or so I thought. The reality was to be far different from what I had imagined.

So with my picture posted and my profile approved let the emails and winks began. In a very short period of time I was inundated with winks and emails. Dozens upon dozens of winks and emails – my ego was flying high. I am the man or at least I thought I was. Next thing I knew match.com was turning into a full time job I was receiving email after email and my profile views were fast approaching a 1000 views just in the first couple of weeks. Undaunted, I began to go out on my dates – the following are not only my stories, but several other friends as well. As I previously mentioned the names have been changed to protect the guilty (not).

Now hold on Dave you mean I just post a profile and a picture and the women will beat a path to my door – yes my friend that is the truth for I speak with the experience of oh about several months and this is being an old timer on the dating site.