So dear reader we are going to start putting dating stories in, as I have gotten many requests from friends etc., to share my stories from Match.com. I was going to write a book but everyone and their brother thinks they have something special to say about match - when in reality we all have the same collective stories just the names and faces are different. Now it is in book form as I had started to write one a while back, so you will see it chapter form. As this book was started a while ago so some of it may seem dated - but I will also be posting current events as well, thanks.
Dedication:
This book is dedicated to my two sons Devon and Michael – may you find your true love and live happily ever after.
Foreword:
I would like to thank my two ex-wives Amy and Kristin for whom without them this book would have never have come to pass. They dealt with me thru my highs and my lows and ultimately our divorces and yet we still manage.
I would also like to thank Julie G. (that's a picture of her to the right) and the fond memories of our relationship. As she was my first real relationship after my 2nd divorce and was the inspiration for this book. Thank god she broke up with me and crushed my heart as I needed to get a post divorce relationship under my belt and get out on the dating scene.
I would like to thank my father for reminding me the glass is always half full and no matter what the sun will still rise tomorrow.
And lastly I would like to thank the online dating site Match.com and the many women whom I was fortunate to meet and often shag and be able to tell these stories along with my personal meet and greet stories – the good the bad and the ugly - I have changed the names, dates places etc., to protect the guilty. (not really but I had to put a disclaimer)
My life experiences in this book and observations are based from my 2nd divorce moving forward and not only discuss my dating experiences but my life experiences during this time as well. These are true experiences with little to no liberties taken with the actual stories, except the names have been changed sometimes to protect the guilty.
My opening email line to my online dates:
Subject: Up for a drink
Body of email:
How’s your schedule for a drink,
Dave,
(Some of you are wondering is that all it takes –YES my friends – this is all it took for me to get a date)
My actual online personal ad (subject to change):
About me and what I'm looking for
Let's meet for cocktails and see if the chemistry is there. Me: In shape and driven but also know when to relax on the beach and enjoy life. I enjoy all sorts of activities including skiing, golf, tennis, boating, auto racing, football, traveling and BBQ's. If your interest has been piqued, send me a note about you and a photo. I am looking for a woman who is fun and driven but doesn't take life too seriously. You: attractive, normal (whatever that means - all guys say that), personable, grounded, has passion, and is smart in a quick-witted way. If this sounds like a match drop me a line and we can meet for drinks etc.,
Chapter 1: The Beginning
Slept alone last night, more so by choice than anything – at least that is what I am telling myself. The phone rang at midnight last night- half awake I looked over from the bed, grabbed my cell phone and decided to let it go to voice mail. It was a Match.com girl letting me know she was out on the prowl and looking for me. Yet I lay in bed and longed for the girl I miss (Julie G. more on her later)– but do I miss the girl or do I miss the daily conversation or do I miss what I remember the relationship to be. Strange to be back out in the world of single-hood: now newly single and in my late 30’s, two divorces, two kids – mortgage, car payments, rent, daycare, child support on and on. Was this were I had expected my life to be? I think deep down in some ways I always knew I would end up being single again.
Well my friends let me share with you the back story. As we all know without a basis to start, going forward will have no meaning.
But hold on before we get started let me share with you my opinion on marriage, relationships and single-hood – I honestly think marriage is a wonderful and a beautiful thing. With the exception of people that get married before they are 30 – what do I mean? I mean get your 20’s out of your system before you decide to settle down, go shag, go drink, go party -otherwise either you or your partner will wonder what they missed. As everyone always thinks the grass is greener on the other side – but the reality is IT ISN’T. But the problem is most people don’t realize how good they had it till after they have lost what was once dear to them and if you do get them back it is never going to be the same again. When you are single you want a partner, when you are married you wonder what it would be like to have the freedom to do what you want when you want. The reality is, being single is great all day long except for when you go to bed and when you wake up in the morning. Waking up alone and going to bed alone is lonely, trust me when you reach out to the other side of the bed and no one is there…what fun is that. When you have no one to share the paper with and a talk over a cup a coffee…what fun is that. When you have to call one of your men or women out from your “stable” to do a booty call that isn’t fulfilling – sure it feels good for the moment, but it leaves you feeling empty inside. If you are with someone who doesn’t make you happy then find someone who does and live happily ever after – don’t spend your life wishing for someone else’s life – live your life and enjoy it
And now on with the story, it was about a year ago late spring 2005 (Happy Birthday Dave- my birthday is in June) that my lovely bride turned to me and said I want a divorce. It was a long time coming; we had grown apart and were too far down the path to turn it around. Me, I had decided a while ago that going out and partying with my friends was more important and fun than spending time with my wife. She – well she had decided that our son was all that mattered and poured herself into our son and I was second inline – not that I didn’t understand but when you have scheduled sex you are on a slippery slope to divorce. Scheduled sex what’s that my friends you ask – that is every Friday night you get to have sex– get in get out get off – and if you missed Friday night well then you couldn’t have sex till next Friday.
As this played out week after week, it became apparent that I resented her and she resented me and there was nothing to do but move on with our lives. We then spent that summer of 2005 playing nice in front of our friends and family and pretending all was right in the world. Slowly but surely the more we lived together the more we were driving each other nuts, we had to separate otherwise we were going to kill each other.
The divorce was official at the end of winter 2006 and I moved out the house early spring of 2006 into my small but nice 1 bedroom apartment. Not a bad place – good neighborhood, tree lined street, close to the grocery stores, and restaurants. The apartment has a walk in closet, washer/dryer, dishwasher etc. but coming from a house with a basement and a backyard and then ending up back in an apartment wasn’t how I pictured my life at this stage. But then again how many of us are where we pictured ourselves at this age – if you are where you expected to be then I commend you. As I realize now that my life is a constant work in progress and every time I think I have some insight into the big picture, I am reminded to sit back relax and affect what I can and let the rest play out.
They day had arrived for my new furniture to be delivered – The bachelor pad was beginning to come together. I had chosen a tasteful burgundy colored couch and love seat- hardwood coffee table; and of course the 46 inch flat screen TV. The Ikea dishes that I have had since I was 23 and have carried with me from marriage to marriage had now been put away in the stark white cupboard. The computer was now set up in a small corner of the apartment and the bedroom was ready to go. I had chosen to order a full size bed not realizing or not anticipating that I would be sharing my bed. (Guys, a small point of reality – what ever size apartment you think you need – it is too small. Take into account your personal life - your children, family, friends, girlfriends, etc.)
As I unpacked my personal belongings and hung the pictures on the walls, each item brought back a memory of a time and place – how many of those were happy memories’ or was that just how I wanted to picture them to be. It is funny how when you look back you can make things seem not as bad as they really were – one can always rationalize their life into explanations and excuses.
I was now prepared or at least I thought I was to go back out into the dating world.
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