Choices

Today I went to GH and enrolled-I start on Friday night- funny how when faced with the reality of following thru how anxious one can get. You see when you have choices and I mean real choices in life to make they are never easy. Sure what to eat for dinner isn't real a choice that is a preference. But do I quit my job and go off on my own- or do I stay married and put the time and effort in to make it work or do I go off and run away and start over- those are real life choices.

I wanted to let you know dear reader that for now I took the job in AZ, working out of the house in CT- I needed the money- which leads me to the next thing I went thru training for selling health insurance and they give leads etc., and I have geared up to sell it-but I cant seem to get started and do you want to know why- IT IS BECAUSE I AM SCARED- scared you say- yes scared of everything- failure, being on my own, financial responsibility etc., I cant seem to get past that fact and it has immobilized me to not take action, and that dear reader takes us back to choices - the choice to take a chance. At this stage of my life I don't know if my self esteem and my wits can get me to make the choice to go off on my own business. I am so frightened of failure that I have reached a point of no action. What's that Dave your scared- yep I look back over my life and the choices I have made and what could have been etc., and I realize that I have wasted my life- aside from my sons- I didn't fufill my obligations in marriage, my work obligations, nor my own personal obligations. I wonder a lot lately of what could have been- and I know I cant turn back the clock and that I can only move forward- but as I sit in the library writing this blog- and I see the weathered books the weathered desks and the weathered librarians I wonder if this is how life is going to be- always wondering if this is it- why cant I be happy???- why do I need to find my place, is it because I have never found it? and with that dear reader I leave with -Choices- we all have them and it is those with the courage to make the choices they succeed and right now I am frozen with inaction professionally - till next time -Chase This!